Abstinence absent masturbation is a joke. Abstinence with masturbation
is unusual. Monogamy, while certainly a worthy ideal, is an unnatural
aberration for males of most species, particularly the human species.
Whores, rent-a-boys, and the new wife are so common as to be considered
to be the norm. Throw porn into the mix and even regulators do it.
It is called religious wishful thinking. There may be a few around who
keep their penises dry, but even those who claim to do so seem to find
ways of succumbing to their natural instincts.
"Substantive
lying to anybody is wrong. It injures the other and is a disaster for
self image. One can't hurt self or society much more grievously."
Adultery
is a different issue. There are many workable forms of parenting. And
to a greater extent marriage without the intent of children.
Consensual open marriages. Open mistresses and concubines with the
knowledge if not the blessing of the wife isn't even a biblical sin.
About the only moral issue is the ability and willingness to provide
proper support to the mother of any resulting children.
Adultery
without spousal consent is certainly a moral issue, but with
contraception and STD prevention it is probably one of the most common
moral failings around. Religious or secular. And if you factor in
serial monogamy as a moral failing, which I do especially with children
involved, statistics are ugly for religious and secular alike, something
like 30% for religious couples and 20% secular."
Pair bonded
parents provide the most stable platform for child raising, particularly
when both parents are committed to the child raising process. The dad
provider, mom caregiver paradigm is a holdover from the patriarchal
religious past, and provides an unbalanced role image for the children.
Far better is two parents sharing the providing and the nurturing.
Sexual Morality
"Every
atheist I know has extremely well developed and usually fairly strict
moral standards with regard to sex. Without trying to speak for all
atheists, I only know a few well enough to discuss sexual morality, the
common thread seems to be radical respect for the feelings and integrity
of the partner, and an absolute prohibition of non-consensual sex.
Most heterosexual atheists consider sex with the intent to create
children to be a commitment to the family to remain together at least
until the children are old enough to understand any separation.