Isn't there enough evidence to suggest that some people are genetically hardwired for monogamy and some for infidelity? Among other variations in the middle of the road that are often overlooked by our Christianized society.
Yavanna
I don't see monogamy as genetic. I see it as a strongly reinforced social value. In other words nurture rather than nature. The fact that historically and prehistorically a two parent family seemed to be the only way most of the people could succeed in producing a replacement quota of adults strongly insured that the leaders who could afford to play around would preach monogamy, and believers would buy it, but as soon as the man can afford it he will play around in one way or another. They don't call prostitution the oldest profession for nothing. Or if you are rich enough you can hire massage therapists of one sex or another to accomplish the same purpose.
I am one of those preaching and practicing monogamy as long as dependent children are involved as I think that is still produces the best results as measured by high functioning adults. There are exceptions, but for every bootstrap street kid that makes it there are hundreds and maybe thousands that don't. If I were writing the laws marriage would be a commitment to any resulting children, natural or adopted, and in a divorce the only lawyer allowed would be an advocate for the children. Unfortunately the churches write the laws for both and the current disaster is the result.
2 comments:
Monogamy demonstrates many wonderful things: love of your partner, respect for your partner, self-control, self-honor, honoring your partner, doing what is right, being responsible, safeguarding your health and life (and most importantly, your partner's health and life -- and I say "most importantly your partner" because if you engage in non-monogamy, you deserve whatever disease you contract, whereas your partner doesn't), giving joy to your partner instead of emotional pain, and many other symbols of love, both for yourself and your partner.
Ultimately, it shows that you have chosen to behave in a manner that has earned you the right to be called a "human being." It is a manifestation to yourself that you understand that life is not about being self-indulgent and living superficially, but about living deeply and getting to know your partner at his/her very core, and allowing your partner to know you at your very core. It is the sign that shows that you have reached that place where human satisfaction is at its deepest: the place that is the crossroads between sexuality with your partner and being spiritually bonded with your partner. It is the place where sex with your partner is so amazingly fantastic because it is also a spiritual experience. Reaching that level provides the highest and most purest form of joy in life.
@Anon -
Thanks for your thoughtful post. I notice that you are focusing strongly on social values which I obviously agree with. I think these days disease is a bit of a strawman, as responsible sexuality with multiple partners can be safe. So until you find that life partner multiple partners may not be superficial or self-indulgent in the context of using sexuality to find the right partner. Once the right partner is found I think your post follows naturally and socially.
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