Economics in a nutshell.
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Superman music
1 day ago
Sunday, May 15, 2016
How to Spend Your Stimulus Payment
From an unknown email meme. Courtesy Paul Carrubba
Economics in a nutshell.
Economics in a nutshell.
Saturday, April 30, 2016
Safer Restrooms and Locker rooms...
... are coed accessible. Properly designed any public multi-person restroom and locker room has latchable doors on the toilets and changing/shower stalls. Making the partitions full length would be a trivial modification. Even men don't like foot tapping under the usual partial partition. Partitioned urinals generally need no doors although a few would be nice for the drop drawers men and women that choose them for urination. All women know that men pee standing up and leering at mens' hip pockets is a generally unsatisfactory experience for all genders. Cutting a door between the men's side and the women's side would provide equal access to the toilets and showers and equalize the lines at intermissions and breaks. The men's side and the women's side would still be different in the vanity area, reflecting the usually different grooming needs, and the usual sloppiness of men whose mothers don't follow them around to clean up.
In a mixed facility the good guys could at least in theory protect all from the bad guys however they were dressed. In general a bigger group is safer than a smaller one and a predator alarm could be built in on both sides as in slack times sexes would still normally segregate. Ladies rooms are social, mens rooms are not.
Social Support Groups
Human society is ultimately organized into tribes once local and generally related. Disruptions such as war, famine, predatory tribes, and recently industrialization have dispersed tribes but religion and ethnicity have maintained tribes as a primary source of social support and traditional values. A more recent disruption has been the availability of of higher education and the teaching of rational thinking to a broad range of people both economically and religiously. The religions are trying to keep their teachings in their higher education institutions, but staying competitive means teaching STEM and philosphical reasoning which are inimicable to blind belief and ethnic solidarity. Therefore tribes are stratifying more on educational attainments and less on traditional values. These stratifications create new tribal groups for which the concept of Social Support Group or SSG is more general and descriptive as it may include traditional tribal values as well as educational stratification.
Friday, April 29, 2016
Humans as Tribal Entities.
Humans are tribal animals. For most of our existence the tribe, however it was defined was critical to our very existence. Any serious violation of the mores of the tribe or the tribal elders gets one thrown off the sleigh to the pursuing wolves.
Until one is sure of alternative tribal support questioning any important belief using the null hypothesis that the belief is false is generally fatal as expulsion is the usual penalty for even questioning any tribal belief.
For much of human history gods and goddesses, if any, were local and the head of the tribe was a real person or council of people that were at least theoretically accessible to all members of the tribe. The tribal leaders and even members might consult the local deities or ask for blessings, but the tribal leaders and not the dieties were the source of the mores of the tribe. Tribes were generally small and concerned with tribal cohesion, cooperation and protection from predation. Some intra-tribal conflict was common, generally territorial but occasionally philosophical (for lack of a better word) as some tribal mores were predatory. See Spartans in ancient Greece.
The most important predators were rogue humans that either left or were expelled from their home tribes frequently taking a few discontents with them to try to figure out a way to survive. By hunter/gatherer behavior if the land would support them or predation on other tribes if the tribe was too small to farm successfully. Once agriculture was common and meat animals were domesticated the pickings in the wild were slim especially for a tribal group which left predation as the only option.
Monday, April 18, 2016
Satire as Religious TRUTH™ - You Can't Lay It On Too Thick
This is an unpublished work in progress on Thinking on the Blue Roads.
Here it is a collection of satire cum religion thinking
From a recent facebook exchange on Pastafarianism:
The entire Book of Mormon is a joke perpetrated on an annoyingly pious young man in New England by his gay, atheist friend Walt Whitman. The Mormons suppress literary analysis like work count and stylistic and content parallels but they cannot suppress any literate person from comparing the Book of Mormon with Leaves of Grass on a boring few day stay in a Salt Lake City hotel.
I read the Book of Mormon on the first night of that boring stay (no booze, no friends) and could not miss the resemblance to a satire of the Bible I wrote in High School. I gave myself 20 lashes with the monster's noodly appendages for not naming my angel Moroni, but chalked it up to a lack of literary genius. The next day I got my copy of Leaves of Grass out of my suitcase and read it side by side with the Book of Mormon. No brainer - same author. I would not put it past Whitman to have given his friend "magic glasses" and told him where in the woods to dig. I am sure Whitman kept a copy or revision of his satire and cleaned up parts of it for his future writings. I still have mine. You may have seen parts of it on beliefnet©.
http://jcarlinsv.blogspot.com/search/label/Jahwist
Hey! Don't leave out the woman who told all of the best stories in the bible: the Jahwist.
If you read J's stories with an intelligent woman author in mind the misogyny of the traditional oral history is clear from the ironic retelling of the Garden story as a prime example. "The woman made me do it." The woman is the only reasonable person in the whole tale. Both God and Adam look like idiots.
But any reading of scripture confirms your thesis that God is a human invention. Probably not the invention of the vuvuzelas in fancy dresses in over decorated balconies, they aren't smart enough to do anything but use God for controlling their sheep. But some of the prophets, apostles, a preacher, and some "interpreters" were smart enough to give the vuvuzelas plenty to work with. Both for good and for awfulness.
Neither is correct. God is a single entity with three personalities striving for dominance only one of which can be expressed at any one time. And this all before there were serotonin antagonists to help.
For the Jews the angry, vengeful, murderous, personality was dominant, although the priestly rule-maker tried to keep the people under control, and the storyteller Jahwist tried to make sense of it all for humans.
For Catholics and many Christians the forgiving, empathetic and human centered personality is dominant, although he seems to have had trouble keeping the "My Way or the Highway" rule-maker under control, especially when the political pressure on the humanist became too intense and he had to suppress that personality.
Other Christians focus on the "My Way" personality.
It is very simple they all worship God, and the necessary personality shows up at the right time.
In other words if you want vengeance you pray to the father manifestation of the schizophrenic God; if you want mercy pray to the son manifestation; and if you want wisdom pray to the ghost manifestation.
Probably why prayers are sung. The music wakes up the right manifestation. When you pray a Kyrie Eleison or an Ave Maria it alerts the son that He ought to pay attention. When you pray a Dies Irae you alert dad that somebody needs to be terrified. And a Psalm alerts the ghost that you need help with the interpretation.
If the Jahwist had not been the Disney of her time it is likely we wouldn't even have a Bible, or Torah. Can you imagine worshiping a book compiled from P, E, and R if you left out J? It is hard enough to wade through all that crap with the leavening of J. All that would be left is a soggy matzoh.
If J wasn't a great storyteller we probably would all be using a different book. All the good stories you remember from the Bible were J's.
I will even "Celebrate" the traditional Christian/Catholic God, although one might detect a bit of irony in my interpretation of the celebration, but that is a long tradition in the Abrahamics, and the true believers interpret the irony as faith so it is a win-win for all. Three of the most famous and effective Requiem Masses were written by atheists along with some of the most beautiful interpretations of the traditional Mass and ritual prayers. The church paid artists well, and the artists knew that too much was not enough for believers.
"I would say the Pieta is an incredibly beautiful and emotionally powerful work. I first saw it as a young dogmatic atheist and was moved by the universal humanity of a mother grieving for a dead child. I saw it again as one better educated in Christian theology and creed, and saw not only the humanity of the mother grieving for the divine sacrifice, but also, more than a little resentment, I carried and nurtured your child for this?
I don't know how much of what I saw was put there by Michelangelo, and how much was put there by me. But in studying art, I do not assume divine inspiration, even if the artist is doing a professionally excellent job for a religious client. Editorial comments which are masked by the believers superficial interpretation, may nonetheless be in the art for those who wish to see. Note that even bad art is not really looked at if it tells a religious story. See the stations of the Cross in any Catholic Church."
I have been thinking a lot about what the composer/artist is putting into the music/art commissioned by the church. Of course the believer will take it with a large dollop of faith and not really think much about it. Also some composers Messiaen is a prime example put their art in the service of God. But many of the others I wonder about. One believer claimed Mozart was divinely inspired. I wonder about the dueling sopranos in the Grand Mass. They seem to be a bit much, and the Ave Verum Corpus in a Major key, and when Christ is pierced shift to another Major key?? An absolutely beautiful piece of music, but I am sure Mozart understood the text, and was at the very least indulging in a bit of irony in his setting.
Here it is a collection of satire cum religion thinking
From a recent facebook exchange on Pastafarianism:
The entire Book of Mormon is a joke perpetrated on an annoyingly pious young man in New England by his gay, atheist friend Walt Whitman. The Mormons suppress literary analysis like work count and stylistic and content parallels but they cannot suppress any literate person from comparing the Book of Mormon with Leaves of Grass on a boring few day stay in a Salt Lake City hotel.
I read the Book of Mormon on the first night of that boring stay (no booze, no friends) and could not miss the resemblance to a satire of the Bible I wrote in High School. I gave myself 20 lashes with the monster's noodly appendages for not naming my angel Moroni, but chalked it up to a lack of literary genius. The next day I got my copy of Leaves of Grass out of my suitcase and read it side by side with the Book of Mormon. No brainer - same author. I would not put it past Whitman to have given his friend "magic glasses" and told him where in the woods to dig. I am sure Whitman kept a copy or revision of his satire and cleaned up parts of it for his future writings. I still have mine. You may have seen parts of it on beliefnet©.
http://jcarlinsv.blogspot.com/search/label/Jahwist
Hey! Don't leave out the woman who told all of the best stories in the bible: the Jahwist.
If you read J's stories with an intelligent woman author in mind the misogyny of the traditional oral history is clear from the ironic retelling of the Garden story as a prime example. "The woman made me do it." The woman is the only reasonable person in the whole tale. Both God and Adam look like idiots.
But any reading of scripture confirms your thesis that God is a human invention. Probably not the invention of the vuvuzelas in fancy dresses in over decorated balconies, they aren't smart enough to do anything but use God for controlling their sheep. But some of the prophets, apostles, a preacher, and some "interpreters" were smart enough to give the vuvuzelas plenty to work with. Both for good and for awfulness.
A Schizophrenic Trinity?
Thoughtful theist: God would simply be strictly identical to the plurality of the three divine persons.
Blü: No. God would be strictly identical not onto to the plurality of the three, but simultaneously strictly identical to EACH of them.
Neither is correct. God is a single entity with three personalities striving for dominance only one of which can be expressed at any one time. And this all before there were serotonin antagonists to help.
For the Jews the angry, vengeful, murderous, personality was dominant, although the priestly rule-maker tried to keep the people under control, and the storyteller Jahwist tried to make sense of it all for humans.
For Catholics and many Christians the forgiving, empathetic and human centered personality is dominant, although he seems to have had trouble keeping the "My Way or the Highway" rule-maker under control, especially when the political pressure on the humanist became too intense and he had to suppress that personality.
Other Christians focus on the "My Way" personality.
It is very simple they all worship God, and the necessary personality shows up at the right time.
In other words if you want vengeance you pray to the father manifestation of the schizophrenic God; if you want mercy pray to the son manifestation; and if you want wisdom pray to the ghost manifestation.
Probably why prayers are sung. The music wakes up the right manifestation. When you pray a Kyrie Eleison or an Ave Maria it alerts the son that He ought to pay attention. When you pray a Dies Irae you alert dad that somebody needs to be terrified. And a Psalm alerts the ghost that you need help with the interpretation.
The Creation of Eve
The birth of Eve - Beliefnet:
"Agnostic wrote:
You're absolutely right. Clearly Eve was a divine creation, separate from Adam. Eve was created in the divine image of God Herself. In contrast, Adam evolved from primates with lower intelligence. It should be obvious that women are innately superior to males.
The Bible shows this. The very name for 'the Lord' is Yahvah. Eve in Hebrew is Chavah. If you look at the original Hebrew letters, they are even more nearly identical.
Each time a female is born, it is another divine creation. Males, on the other hand, bear far too much similarity to apes of lesser intelligence. It should be obvious.
The Genesis story shows God leading the animals and beasts to Adam for a potential mate, because Adam was just an animal. Adam almost chose a dog for a mate. But God, in Her infinite wisdom, realized Adam was not capable of living without divine help, so God gave a replica of Herself to watch over Adam.
This is clear from the Hebrew word, usually translated as 'help mate' It is 'Ezer,' a word which does mean help. But in the Bible, it only appears as a term for God Herself, or for Eve. David says, 'God is my Help (Ezer)' Eve, the Woman, was Adam's Help (Ezer). It was Adam who needed help, divine assistance. Eve was provided. She did not evolve. She had a separate divine creation.
Scientists generally are correct. Adam evolved. But religion is also correct, Eve was a Divine Creation. All the violence is the world is caused by men, who have barely evolved past their lower primate origins. Even with divine assistance from women, they often are unable to advance beyond their atavistic nature."
J'C: In light of Harold Bloom's theory that "J" was a woman, the irony in Genesis 2 is, with this post, beautifully explained.
"Agnostic wrote:
You're absolutely right. Clearly Eve was a divine creation, separate from Adam. Eve was created in the divine image of God Herself. In contrast, Adam evolved from primates with lower intelligence. It should be obvious that women are innately superior to males.
The Bible shows this. The very name for 'the Lord' is Yahvah. Eve in Hebrew is Chavah. If you look at the original Hebrew letters, they are even more nearly identical.
Each time a female is born, it is another divine creation. Males, on the other hand, bear far too much similarity to apes of lesser intelligence. It should be obvious.
The Genesis story shows God leading the animals and beasts to Adam for a potential mate, because Adam was just an animal. Adam almost chose a dog for a mate. But God, in Her infinite wisdom, realized Adam was not capable of living without divine help, so God gave a replica of Herself to watch over Adam.
This is clear from the Hebrew word, usually translated as 'help mate' It is 'Ezer,' a word which does mean help. But in the Bible, it only appears as a term for God Herself, or for Eve. David says, 'God is my Help (Ezer)' Eve, the Woman, was Adam's Help (Ezer). It was Adam who needed help, divine assistance. Eve was provided. She did not evolve. She had a separate divine creation.
Scientists generally are correct. Adam evolved. But religion is also correct, Eve was a Divine Creation. All the violence is the world is caused by men, who have barely evolved past their lower primate origins. Even with divine assistance from women, they often are unable to advance beyond their atavistic nature."
J'C: In light of Harold Bloom's theory that "J" was a woman, the irony in Genesis 2 is, with this post, beautifully explained.
Fundy: Donald Duck has CREATED nothing! The Walt Disney Corporation created the animated Donald Duck out of human imagination and human-developed technologies!
If the Jahwist had not been the Disney of her time it is likely we wouldn't even have a Bible, or Torah. Can you imagine worshiping a book compiled from P, E, and R if you left out J? It is hard enough to wade through all that crap with the leavening of J. All that would be left is a soggy matzoh.
If J wasn't a great storyteller we probably would all be using a different book. All the good stories you remember from the Bible were J's.
I will even "Celebrate" the traditional Christian/Catholic God, although one might detect a bit of irony in my interpretation of the celebration, but that is a long tradition in the Abrahamics, and the true believers interpret the irony as faith so it is a win-win for all. Three of the most famous and effective Requiem Masses were written by atheists along with some of the most beautiful interpretations of the traditional Mass and ritual prayers. The church paid artists well, and the artists knew that too much was not enough for believers.
"I would say the Pieta is an incredibly beautiful and emotionally powerful work. I first saw it as a young dogmatic atheist and was moved by the universal humanity of a mother grieving for a dead child. I saw it again as one better educated in Christian theology and creed, and saw not only the humanity of the mother grieving for the divine sacrifice, but also, more than a little resentment, I carried and nurtured your child for this?
I don't know how much of what I saw was put there by Michelangelo, and how much was put there by me. But in studying art, I do not assume divine inspiration, even if the artist is doing a professionally excellent job for a religious client. Editorial comments which are masked by the believers superficial interpretation, may nonetheless be in the art for those who wish to see. Note that even bad art is not really looked at if it tells a religious story. See the stations of the Cross in any Catholic Church."
I have been thinking a lot about what the composer/artist is putting into the music/art commissioned by the church. Of course the believer will take it with a large dollop of faith and not really think much about it. Also some composers Messiaen is a prime example put their art in the service of God. But many of the others I wonder about. One believer claimed Mozart was divinely inspired. I wonder about the dueling sopranos in the Grand Mass. They seem to be a bit much, and the Ave Verum Corpus in a Major key, and when Christ is pierced shift to another Major key?? An absolutely beautiful piece of music, but I am sure Mozart understood the text, and was at the very least indulging in a bit of irony in his setting.
Hell - Beliefnet Forums:
"Although I am not a believer in an afterlife of the body or soul, I do
find that a semblance of immortality is achieved in how we are
remembered by those whose lives we touch. Perhaps this is why I like the
Dies Irae in the mass. The trumpets sound and we think of our deceased
acquaintances. Surely they are judged, as they have sown, 'He brought
laughter and irony into my life' 'He was a stinking asshole. Shitting on
everything that he disagreed with.'
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Peter's Story
Note, everything up to the rescue is speculative based on behavioral cues since Peter was welcomed in his forever home.
I was whelped late winter 2009 from a Chihuahua bitch who was a bit careless in choice of a mate. Not unusual in Milpitas CA where small mixes rule. A nice family welcomed me home and helped me learn to be a nice family dog. But soon things got a little weird. A man in a suit and another in a uniform knocked on the door and made my family very angry. I hid in my carrier as I usually did when the family was angry, and tried not to be noticed. Soon after a big truck came and took everything out of the house and my family was looking at me with a strange feeling of love and unhappiness. They took me to my favorite park where I loved to chase squirrels. I didn't play much with the other dogs. I was a small puppy, and stayed close to my family when I was tired of chasing squirrels. When I got tired I came back to parking lot but they were not there. I made my way back to the house but they were not there either. I stayed in the neighborhood for a while hoping that one of the neighbors would take pity on me or at least leave a bit of food out for me, but it was not to be.
I hate to be wet, and when the storm came I went to the neighborhood shopping center and found a dry place to hide behind a breakfast place. I found a blanket nearby and dragged it to my refuge and fell asleep under it. By morning I was very hungry and ventured out of my hiding place. People have been nice to me so I was not afraid, and I saw a nice lady outside taking a break, and begged for some food. She went inside and brought out a dirty plate with some eggs and butter on it and left it for me. That was my food for a few days as she would always leave a plate out for me in the early morning.
But one morning a bunch of nasty men grabbed me and took me away and began using me as a soccer ball, kicking me and laughing at my cries of pain. I managed to escape when they took a break but I was in a strange neighborhood and couldn't find my way back to anyplace I knew. I don't know how long I wandered around trying to find some food but a nice lady in a little truck enticed me with some food and picked me up and took me to a big house with lots of dogs and cats in it. They fed me and stuck some needles in me, and put me in a nice open cage in a quiet part of the house.
The next day a nice lady wandered into my aisle which was marked Not For Adoption and when she saw me we bonded instantly. The rest of my new family was talking about adopting some other dog, and the nice lady went to them and told them "We will look at Peter." She was told that I was a stray that had not been evaluated yet, but the older man said he was a good trainer of dogs and could handle me. After some argument they brought me into the meeting room and I ran up to the woman and rolled over so she could rub my sore belly. That convinced the people at the Humane Society of Silicon Valley that I would be a good dog for the family and they let me go home with them the next day.
In my new home I had a brand new rug so I didn't have to worry about accidents, but I knew about inside so they did not have to worry. I used their nice back yard with lots of squirrels to tend to my needs and went back and crawled into my carrier for the night. It felt safe, but I missed my blanket so I scouted around a bit and saw a nice quilt hanging off the couch. I knew I wasn't allowed to be on the furniture so I gave it a little tug and another and it fell to the floor and I wrapped myself in it.
I was so comfortable that I didn't even run back to my carrier when I heard them come down and this was what they found. They didn't even tell me I was a bad dog for stealing the quilt and I knew that I was home.
After breakfast training began, they were surprised that there were no piddles on the rug, then I barked at a squirrel on the fence, and they let me out to give him a run for his challenge and took care of the necessaries and went back in. I am really a house dog, and go outside only when it is necessary, and never when it rains. Not even to chase a squirrel.
When the man made breakfast the smell of eggs and butter was so nice I went over to the table to share. It turns out that the man didn't like that and sent me away. So the next day I didn't bother him and sat on my sleeping mat and told him I was waiting with my eyes and ears. He looked at me and told me I was a gooddog, and after a bit he put his not quite empty plate down for me to clean up. I learned quickly that "gooddog" eventually was followed by a treat, so training was easy for both of us. After breakfast the man was refilling the butter dish, and I remembered the lady at the breakfast place always left a few butter wrappers out for me, so I went back to my mat and waited expectantly, the man isn't dumb either so he brought me the butter wrapper to lick. That ended the table training for both of us. If I stayed away I always got a plate to lick, and he almost always remembered to put the plate down as soon as he was finished.
The nice lady wasn't as persnickety and kept a little dish on the floor beside her, and when she found some fat or gristle that she didn't want to eat she dropped it in the bowl. I told you we bonded instantly. I made sure that when I tested out the couch rules that the man was nowhere to be seen to object and found that none of the furnature was off limits. The man didn't fight the consensus and the orange quilt on the couch became my downstairs home.
When I was still a pup we went to San Francisco for an outing, I was good on a leash and knew all the usual cues, heel, sit, wait, come, etc. I still didn't like men including the trainer man, and didn't like him even touching me. But as we were walking in the city we approached a bus stop where a big bunch of men were standing around. I just couldn't be convinced to pass them even in a tight heel. I just sat down and let the man solve the problem. He finally picked me up and carried me past them. I didn't really like it but it did make me feel safe away from their feet. He felt me shivering and put me down as soon as we were past the trouble.
I quickly learned to announce anybody intruding on the property, and to park on cue if they were welcome. If they were women and children I eagerly joined the party but was reserved so I didn't frighten anybody. I had a much harder time accepting men even from a distance. I didn't even like the trainer man with all the treats to touch me. He could tell me what to do, and I would do it, but even in a heel I kept away from his feet for several years. I eventually learned with lots of help to tolerate men that had good smelling shoes. The nice lady is Chinese so everybody leaves their shoes in the foyer where I can get acquainted with them.
In the evening I get long walks to exercise my people and sniff my way around the neighborhood to make sure all is well. They tried to teach me off leash behavior, but I prefer to keep my new family on the other end of the leash. I don't even go to the door until they attach themselves to my harness.
Not much more to tell just the boring adventures of a happy house dog in a nice family home. I am sure you have heard them all. I am just a
happy old dog lying in the sun.
I was whelped late winter 2009 from a Chihuahua bitch who was a bit careless in choice of a mate. Not unusual in Milpitas CA where small mixes rule. A nice family welcomed me home and helped me learn to be a nice family dog. But soon things got a little weird. A man in a suit and another in a uniform knocked on the door and made my family very angry. I hid in my carrier as I usually did when the family was angry, and tried not to be noticed. Soon after a big truck came and took everything out of the house and my family was looking at me with a strange feeling of love and unhappiness. They took me to my favorite park where I loved to chase squirrels. I didn't play much with the other dogs. I was a small puppy, and stayed close to my family when I was tired of chasing squirrels. When I got tired I came back to parking lot but they were not there. I made my way back to the house but they were not there either. I stayed in the neighborhood for a while hoping that one of the neighbors would take pity on me or at least leave a bit of food out for me, but it was not to be.
I hate to be wet, and when the storm came I went to the neighborhood shopping center and found a dry place to hide behind a breakfast place. I found a blanket nearby and dragged it to my refuge and fell asleep under it. By morning I was very hungry and ventured out of my hiding place. People have been nice to me so I was not afraid, and I saw a nice lady outside taking a break, and begged for some food. She went inside and brought out a dirty plate with some eggs and butter on it and left it for me. That was my food for a few days as she would always leave a plate out for me in the early morning.
But one morning a bunch of nasty men grabbed me and took me away and began using me as a soccer ball, kicking me and laughing at my cries of pain. I managed to escape when they took a break but I was in a strange neighborhood and couldn't find my way back to anyplace I knew. I don't know how long I wandered around trying to find some food but a nice lady in a little truck enticed me with some food and picked me up and took me to a big house with lots of dogs and cats in it. They fed me and stuck some needles in me, and put me in a nice open cage in a quiet part of the house.
The next day a nice lady wandered into my aisle which was marked Not For Adoption and when she saw me we bonded instantly. The rest of my new family was talking about adopting some other dog, and the nice lady went to them and told them "We will look at Peter." She was told that I was a stray that had not been evaluated yet, but the older man said he was a good trainer of dogs and could handle me. After some argument they brought me into the meeting room and I ran up to the woman and rolled over so she could rub my sore belly. That convinced the people at the Humane Society of Silicon Valley that I would be a good dog for the family and they let me go home with them the next day.
In my new home I had a brand new rug so I didn't have to worry about accidents, but I knew about inside so they did not have to worry. I used their nice back yard with lots of squirrels to tend to my needs and went back and crawled into my carrier for the night. It felt safe, but I missed my blanket so I scouted around a bit and saw a nice quilt hanging off the couch. I knew I wasn't allowed to be on the furniture so I gave it a little tug and another and it fell to the floor and I wrapped myself in it.
After breakfast training began, they were surprised that there were no piddles on the rug, then I barked at a squirrel on the fence, and they let me out to give him a run for his challenge and took care of the necessaries and went back in. I am really a house dog, and go outside only when it is necessary, and never when it rains. Not even to chase a squirrel.
When the man made breakfast the smell of eggs and butter was so nice I went over to the table to share. It turns out that the man didn't like that and sent me away. So the next day I didn't bother him and sat on my sleeping mat and told him I was waiting with my eyes and ears. He looked at me and told me I was a gooddog, and after a bit he put his not quite empty plate down for me to clean up. I learned quickly that "gooddog" eventually was followed by a treat, so training was easy for both of us. After breakfast the man was refilling the butter dish, and I remembered the lady at the breakfast place always left a few butter wrappers out for me, so I went back to my mat and waited expectantly, the man isn't dumb either so he brought me the butter wrapper to lick. That ended the table training for both of us. If I stayed away I always got a plate to lick, and he almost always remembered to put the plate down as soon as he was finished.
The nice lady wasn't as persnickety and kept a little dish on the floor beside her, and when she found some fat or gristle that she didn't want to eat she dropped it in the bowl. I told you we bonded instantly. I made sure that when I tested out the couch rules that the man was nowhere to be seen to object and found that none of the furnature was off limits. The man didn't fight the consensus and the orange quilt on the couch became my downstairs home.
When I was still a pup we went to San Francisco for an outing, I was good on a leash and knew all the usual cues, heel, sit, wait, come, etc. I still didn't like men including the trainer man, and didn't like him even touching me. But as we were walking in the city we approached a bus stop where a big bunch of men were standing around. I just couldn't be convinced to pass them even in a tight heel. I just sat down and let the man solve the problem. He finally picked me up and carried me past them. I didn't really like it but it did make me feel safe away from their feet. He felt me shivering and put me down as soon as we were past the trouble.
I quickly learned to announce anybody intruding on the property, and to park on cue if they were welcome. If they were women and children I eagerly joined the party but was reserved so I didn't frighten anybody. I had a much harder time accepting men even from a distance. I didn't even like the trainer man with all the treats to touch me. He could tell me what to do, and I would do it, but even in a heel I kept away from his feet for several years. I eventually learned with lots of help to tolerate men that had good smelling shoes. The nice lady is Chinese so everybody leaves their shoes in the foyer where I can get acquainted with them.
In the evening I get long walks to exercise my people and sniff my way around the neighborhood to make sure all is well. They tried to teach me off leash behavior, but I prefer to keep my new family on the other end of the leash. I don't even go to the door until they attach themselves to my harness.
Not much more to tell just the boring adventures of a happy house dog in a nice family home. I am sure you have heard them all. I am just a
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