Yes....'lost' in the sense of 'because nobody really 'gets me' I'm not sure about myself sufficiently to know where, who and what I am.'Just like a mirror reflects images that allow us to see ourselves, so too other humans reflect our images/thoughts/ideas back to us as they see them; when those reflections align with our perceptions, we feel 'known' and successful.
Finding others to reflect our images/thoughts is one of the hardest things about being atheist. A theist can find that reflection in God if not in the community of herm church. I would find the reflection in an imaginary being unsatisfying, and even a reflection in the community wouldn't be good enough for me. I need a real person, or a once real person like Jefferson, or even an internet real person like many of you here, to provide that reflection of perception that validates our being alive. Thank you, all of you who are providing the reflection for me, I hope I am adequately returning the favor."
3 comments:
Thank you for including this thought in your blog. The idea of being "found" so resonates with me, I even engaged my 81 year old mother in the dialogue and she embraced the idea, well beyond my expectations.
During my "church years" I came to know hundreds of theists of all kinds and have continued to interact with my family, clan and extended family, virtually all theists; in truth, only a very few of them have been "found." Their theism does not necessarily lead to a "true reflection" of humanity; the ideal of perfection actually clouds the eyes so one cannot "see well."
Perhaps I have been more fortunate in my theist friends or maybe their theism is more open than those in your more fundamentalist experience, but their church experience gives them the feeling of being "found." This foundation permits them to share and reflect others in a way that lets them reflect the humanity of others. At least those of us who accept the validity of their community without necessarily sharing in it.
The Friends and the UU's were much closer to a "found" community than were the Evangelicals, but there was a fairly rigid set of unspoken mores that did not tolerate "too much" non-conformance, [but certainly a great deal more tolerance than the "holy rollers" had for their peers.] Beyond the social pleasantries, there exists the more fundamental issue of ideals and values; when one is convinced they must strive to achieve non-human ideals and perfections, it is much harder to focus on and embrace the value of imperfections. Even within non-religious social groups, "abnormal behaviors" are almost always thought to be a threat to group stability and are often not tolerated. We need to not only find one another but we must also find a way to embrace and encourage Diversity as it is the lifeblood of growth.
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