Sunday, February 21, 2016

Why I Am Not a Feminist. Part n+3: Men Will Always Be Boys

Incels, single men, and philanders have been catcalling women since birds learned to sing.  Women have been ignoring them since then if they are not interested.  Some women take a catcall as a complement and respond with a non-inviting flirt move.  Some women may actually check out the catcaller to see if he might be interesting and if so make an inviting flirt move.  She may even look up and smile.  Also behavior that can be observed in all sexual creatures.  The campaign claiming that this demeans women is totally worthless.  Women are sex objects.  So are men.   But whatever attracts his interest the man must make his interest known to the strange woman in order to have any chance of meeting her at all.  Women are expected to be more subtle, but if she sees a stranger that may be a desirable sex toy or a sugar daddy she will certainly find a way to make it known.

There must be limits. It used to be that there were universal social signals that were respected and enforced by both genders.  A man at a bar who touched a woman who had just turned her back to him risked anything from a physical attack by some other man, to ostracism, to somebody of either gender to loudly commenting "Leave her alone, go jack off in your own back yard."  These signals seem to be still evolving in this more permissive and equal opportunity "Hook-up" culture, but among reasonable people seem to be known and agreed to.  The rape culture is fighting back, but then rapists were never reasonable people.  One can't help but wonder if the wolf crying in the first paragraph has not decreased sensitivity to actual abuse.     

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Men are rational beings, with the ability to control themselves and their urges. If you can manage not to tell the guy walking down the street to smile, you can manage not to say it to a woman, too. Do not give me any bullshit about social upbringing, because that is the problem we're trying to fix.

J'Carlin said...

Yes they can. But if they are interested in a woman for one reason or another either for a biological urge to scatter their seed or something else why should they not indicate to the woman in some way that they are interested. Many men, dare I say most men, have been conditioned by culture and upbringing in a male dominated household to view women as sex objects that if they are rich enough they can buy as such. Maybe all it would take is a drink and dinner, to gain the consent that we all agree is a necessary condition of any touching. In a bar he could buy her that drink, in a coffee house he could comment on her drink, but if he is two stories up all he can do to make his interest known is to catcall. If she is interested at all in any case she may smile a universal indicator of "let's take this a bit further" if not she can control herself and her urges and ignore him. A universal indicator of "Don't be a prick."

But don't give me any bullshit about controlling urges, women have them as well as men and these days of hooking up on a moment's notice to slake an urge (with consent on both sides) a hook-up is frequently initiated by the woman. I know of one case where a woman was unable to satisfy her urges at a party, went to a safe house, and asked to be hooked up. She was too intoxicated to perform, probably her problem at the first party and nothing happened.

Sexually active women are protected these days, and can indulge their biological urges without consequences. Sexually active men are either 'fixed' or indifferent to consequences if the woman isn't protected. The chances of a paternity suit are slim although a rape charge is more probable, but conviction in either case is improbable unless he is rich and famous.

Incidentally, some men have urges for other men and attempt to get them to smile. All of my life I have been a sex object for such men and simply ignore them: light touching in social situations, or friendly punches in athletic situations, more aggressive attention attempts in tolerant situations, including being asked to smile in one case. Men will be men, even when their urges are for other men.

Disclaimer: The above comment is a quote from another discussion, but as it is standard feminist dogma attribution is not necessary. It could be from almost any feminist.