Try as you will, you just can't get secular morality to come up with the rules about adult consensual sexual activity that religionists seem to find so necessary.Perhaps the problem is less religion vs secular than pre vs post contraception controllable by women. Women today have many opportunities for sexual gratification outside of the traditional Kinder, Kirche, Küche with a rich husband. Kirche being redefined as socialization, usually in a church, but not necessarily so. Since ~1975 women have been able to make choices about sexual activitiy that do not necessarily involve marriage, children, or even men.
Old socialization is hard to break so most women buy into the find a good provider as a husband, ditch the contraceptive and take the mom track. Premarital discreet sex optional. But this is a choice not an obligation even for religious women. Admittedly a strongly mandated choice for religious women. But even religious women can choose a career track "celebate" that is not married, and keep the sexual activities in the closet bedroom. Or less frequently be "celibate" until well established in the career track and find a partner willing to help with the kids.
For secular women the choices are more open: sex, marriage, and children all totally unrelated choices. And the partner(s) for each also unrelated. Still some socialization for the mom track, but less pressure from one's society to choose it and more ways to get there and still have sex on the way.
All of this freedom for women has left men, shall we say, unfucked. Since ~1975 their manliness and suitability as a mate counts for little in the sex dance and they need to figure out other ways to get laid. Unfortunately tradition has very little help to give in this regard especially religious tradition. Religious tradition is still stuck in the celibate till 18 (unless you can get any behind the woodpile, wink, wink.) then marry your H.S. sweetie and live happily ever after. Sex is just animal rut anyway, but sweetie is always available and dependent on you so the animal needs are slaked. 'Tis better to marry than to burn with lust.
But H.S. sweetie has other plans and other opportunities both for sex and independence. So what is a manly man to do? The hormones are raging and society and many women are telling him male dominance isn't going to work any more. Men have very little guidance from society and religion both of which are telling him to be celibate and no one is telling him how to unlock the closet bedroom door. The answer is clear. You have to ask for the key, demanding it doesn't work any more, and it will be on her terms not the man's.
Welcome to the world of women's absolute control over their own sex lives. Anybody surprised that porn is ubiquitous? Religions say you can't do that either, but if praying doesn't help?